how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I don't deserve a penis
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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