you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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