I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
