I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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