Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
