I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
