Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You ruined the universe
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
