Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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