I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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