Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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