4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
