You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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