You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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