you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
