What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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