Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
