He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i would punch a child for taco bell
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
