Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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