Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Quick, to the slutcave!
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I need to calm my uterus...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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