i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
