Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
