I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
