doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
