garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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