the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
