My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
