he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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