We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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