I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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