GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
organizing the empties. That sober.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
