the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
