SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Is it penis luge time yet?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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