ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
