His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
