Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
