lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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