when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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