Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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