...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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