Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Are we still banned from the library?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
