Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
