We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I am one with the molecules
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
