okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
