We won't sleep together?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
