Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i think my mom watched the whole time
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize