Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
