Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
