wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
