she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
