Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
nutella sex= disaster
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize