You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
