I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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