he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
