how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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