so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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