I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
