I got her a Nickelback box set.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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