Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
