Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
