just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize