so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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