I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
