Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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